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the hilarious post - funny equipmnt descriptions

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debraj View Drop Down
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    Posted: 07/29/2008 at 6:11pm

Its funny how manufacturers and sellers will say anything and everything to describe an equipment. This post seeks your contribution on funny, meaningless, contradicting, ambiguous, pretentious descriptions of equipments in different sites.

 

Here are some of my first contributions:

 

http://www.comfortchannel.com/prod.itml/icOid/9411

killerspin Forza 4z : �Tacky top sheet over a medium elastic sponge makes for a larger sweet spot, increased speed,�..�

 

Now when did topsheets decide sweetspots? This is some guy trying extrapolating his Tennis know-how on TT. Only time we talk sweet post in TT is when we talk composite blade. Dude!!

 

 

http://zeropong.com/xcart4/product.php?productid=249&cat=287&page=1

 

About Gold Dragon�Originally just to be released to China sponsored players, we have managed to convince LKT to release it to the general table tennis community.�

 

Oops!! LKT was waiting for your persuasion to make themselves profitable? Think of the conversation�.

 

LKT: no no!! this rubber too good. � no play normal player .. only play Chinese national team� I no sale to you.

 

Zeropong: Oh God. How do I do this??  .. please .. please for the sake of humanity let others play with this gift from the mandarin paradise � the poor souls � please touch their lives with this incredible miracle and make everybody world champion.

 

LKT:  I  No Sell!!

 

Zeropong: okay I pay you $10 US dollars for each sheet� !!! how�s that?

 

LKT: How many you order? Cash or paypal?

 

[manufacturers and sellers: you may be next on line. Hope you guys take it as fun stuff when we buyers pick on you :)    ].

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Speedplay View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Speedplay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/29/2008 at 6:23pm
LOL!

The best I ever read was on the Yasaka New Era, don't remember it word by word, but it was something like this:
"With our new formula you will see that even your bad shots hit the table"

Now, if that was true, I would certainly buy a couple of those rubbers and then simple stick my blade infront of everything =)
The holy grail
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Schlager View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Schlager Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/29/2008 at 6:40pm
Originally posted by debraj debraj wrote:

Now when did topsheets decide sweetspots? This is some guy trying extrapolating his Tennis know-how on TT. Only time we talk sweet post in TT is when we talk composite blade. Dude!!

 

 
ehrm.. When did all wood blades stop having sweetspots?
Blade: Butterfly M. Maze Off ST

Rubbers: Bluefire M2 2.0
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debraj View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote debraj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/29/2008 at 6:46pm
schlager: i don;t disagree but don't want to digress. rubbers wont have sweet spots.. right?
 
speedplay: great observation!! sure it starts a new era of table tennis with that promise.
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Thylacine View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thylacine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/29/2008 at 7:10pm
Big%20smile
***************
 
- Hallmark HALF-LONG Pimples-out Rubber
- Medium length pimples-out rubber
- Gives the effect of a long pimple when blocking against topspin and enables the player to attack as if playing with a short pimple.
- Control is outstanding for blocking against topspin with good effect being obtained. - Very good for close to the table play and is very disturbing when hitting.
- Chopping is more float but it does depend a lot on what the opponent is doing
 
 
****************
AWESOME POWER AND EXTRA PRECISION WITHOUT SPEED GLUE. PERFORMANCE PROVED BY TOP PLAYERS.

Top players are already using OMEGA II for their games - without any speed glues. The breakthrough technology TENSOR BIOS integrated the speed glue effect at maximum inside of OMEGA II. OMEGA II without any speed gluing demonstrates more powerful performance than any rubbers heavily glued. Extra control precision adds the big advantage to the success of your technical strokes in high speed game. OMEGA II developed for the top players in very offensive style needs a few days of practice for full adoption, because the power of built-in effect is far beyond your experience ! 

 
***********************
Single Ply Hinoki club
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JimT View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JimT Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/29/2008 at 7:11pm
Well, these look like they simply are just bad translations from Chinese or smth...
Single Ply Hinoki Club, Founding Member

Say "no!" to expensive table tennis equipment. Please...
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Schlager View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Schlager Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/29/2008 at 7:20pm
The JOOLA ORBIT icu� is the first rubber in this revolutionary technology.
icu� is the intelligent response to more speed. The rubber changes the arch of the trajectory when hitting and thus increases the �sweet spot�. The result is that the ball, even when hit with bad technique or not hit properly, can be returned.
 
JOOLA ORBIT icu� - the first, fault correcting rubber.
 
 
I think this one is funny! Especially since Orbit really isn't anything special at all!
Blade: Butterfly M. Maze Off ST

Rubbers: Bluefire M2 2.0
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debraj View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote debraj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/29/2008 at 7:34pm
i always get baffled with this description of DHS skylines and hurricanes
 
"Spin or not, strong or weak, delicate change in a blink, Skyline 2 rubber made with new technique brings fresh experience of loop wiht quick-attack.  Colloid combined with acerbity and glutinosity has distinguished friction... "
 
Colloid i can still understand,,,... but acerbity? which as per online dictionary is bitterness.... Do they lick their rubbers before selling?
 
Now i know why this rubber is used by Wang Licking .... :)))
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cmetsbeltran15 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/29/2008 at 8:05pm
Butterfly Andrjez Grubba:

The Andrzej Grubba is a flexible blade named after one of the world's most dynamic players. Ideal for topspin, short chops, blocks, smashes, anniversaries, birthdays, barmitzvahs, Boxing Day, El Dia de Los Muertos, and Bastille Day.
༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ take my energy ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nicefrog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/29/2008 at 9:01pm
729 Cream.
 
"Superior "729" Reversal rubber is renovation product by Tianjin Rubber Research Institute, In addition to the properties of original product like good adhesion, strong spining and easy manipulation, Friendship Superor "729" has adopted special technoligy and import materials so that the innate properties as well as the outlook are further closing to perfect."
 
renovation :P
 
LoL MRS is the same except it has this added to the above speach
 
"Besides, Japan made sponge has contributed to fully manipulation of the sportsmen's skills. (Note: please use wet sponge or cloth to wipe the dirt on the rubber surface.)"
 
Classic stuff :D
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theman View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote theman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/29/2008 at 9:15pm
- Bomb REX G Tension Rubber
- German top grade high power sponge
- Super control, super spin, super speed = BOMB REX G Tension
- Totally independent of speed glue
- Unimaginably amazing if speed glued


its UNIMAGINABLY@@@@@!!!! WHOAH MAN!!!!
i lost my racquet

Schlager u beast

http://www.youtube.com/MDSguy

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nicefrog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/29/2008 at 9:21pm
No one will have one more funny than this !:) this is from maybe the most famous looping rubber ever, The original Yellow Yasaka Tornado from the 1970's (yes I have one and no you can't have it).
 
"Yasaka, we have been continuously met with every demand for various Table Tennis Styles, by giving you such as Mark V, Black Power, and Phantom 007, now presents an unusual Rubber, "TORNADO" matching with the forthcoming scopic buisness. The color is just delicate. RED of Mark V, BLACK of Black Power and at last we have reached to the "TORNADO" 's Rising-Sun-Gold! Completed after spending much more than 2 years and storing their thorough energies, "TORNADO" has started the victory with it's powerful spin, speed and control. "TORNADO", messenger of fine play, which will be able to satisfy from the beginers to the World Champion is also tuff and of longlife.
 
Please rest assured that you would take a good care of Table Tennis Rubber.
Because it is living. We reccomend you not wrap it with vynil film, because we are afraid that the rubber cannot breath. We recommend you not mop the rubber with a volitile solvent, because the nature of the rubber might be changed chemically. You should avoid sun beam, magnetism, just oil and etc., and would always place beside your hand and blow your soul into your Table Tennis Rubber."
 
All the older players 35+ in age in my club still rave about this rubber, it was the ONLY rubber to use for a looper back in the day and when I found one new old stock about 10 years ago I had to have it, it's only the 1mm sponge version but it's ok because I will never cut it anyway :) it is still in perfect condition tho, long lasting indeed
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