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Cheating in Table Tennis |
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JacekGM
Platinum Member Joined: 02/17/2013 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 2356 |
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Baal, you are really good... |
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(1) Juic SBA (Fl, 85 g) with Bluefire JP3 (red max) on FH and 0.6 mm DR N Desperado on BH; (2) Yinhe T7 (Fl, 87 g) with Bluefire M3 (red 2.0) on FH and 0.6 mm 755 on BH.
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Tt Gold
Gold Member Joined: 10/22/2014 Location: Germany Status: Offline Points: 1302 |
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Sorry English is not my main language so I either didn't understand your sentence or it just sound weird to me.Do you suggest that the rest should boost as well?If so it wouldn't actually give them as much benefits as the Chinese get from it. |
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Tassie52
Gold Member Joined: 10/09/2010 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 1318 |
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So we've moved on from doggerel and limericks to haiku and blank verse. Thank heavens and well done!
Berndt's reminder of the convention of 17 on (English = syllables) starts us on the path to a deeper critique: are these genuine haiku? Beyond the 17 on we also need kiru, the juxtaposition of two images; haiku demand the "compare and contrast" of "cutting" (kiru) to provide depth and meaning. Jay comes close with "coc'nut oil" vs "cheating". The other major defect is the entire lack of kigo, reference to the seasons. I can't find "sweet" in any saijiki (list of kigo) but "cheating is (so) sweet" is pretty darn close. So, if I was an English teacher (once upon a time) I'd give Berndt and Baal solid pass marks with encouraging words about effort, and Jay goes to the top of the class (no doubt with his clipboard under his arm). Blank verse: Whew! What can I say? This may well be the best thing you've ever posted, Berndt. I applaud both your style and your sentiment. And it's on topic!
Edited by Tassie52 - 08/24/2015 at 8:30pm |
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berndt_mann
Gold Member Joined: 02/02/2015 Location: Tucson, Arizona Status: Offline Points: 1719 |
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Thank you ever so much, Tassie52. You are too kind.
Edited by berndt_mann - 08/24/2015 at 8:47pm |
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bmann1942
Setup: Mark Bellamy Master Craftsman blade, British Leyland hard rubber |
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berndt_mann
Gold Member Joined: 02/02/2015 Location: Tucson, Arizona Status: Offline Points: 1719 |
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And now, me hearties, a good old fashioned table tennis sea chantey:
We'll boost and tune by the light of the moon, With a heave and a ho, me bully bully boys. We'll boost and tune in a June monsoon. With a yo heave ho and a ruddy bum bum. Chorus: With a heave and a ho me bully bully boys, With a yo heave ho and a ruddy bum bum. With a yo heave ho and a haul away Joe, So haul away the track let the bullgine run. We'll boost and tune till the break of dawn. With a heave and a ho me bully bully boys. We'll boost and tune, then we'll play play on. With a yo heave ho and a ruddy bum bum. With a heave and a ho me bully bully boys, With a yo heave ho and a ruddy bum bum. With a yo heave ho and a haul away Joe, So haul away the track let the bullgine run. We'll boost and tune, and we don't give a damn, With a heave and a ho me bully bully boys. We'll boost and tune, then we'll have some Spam. With a yo heave ho and a ruddy bum bum. With a heave and a ho me bully bully boys, With a yo heave ho and a ruddy bum bum. With a yo heave ho and a haul away Joe, So haul away the track let the bullgine run. Edited by berndt_mann - 08/24/2015 at 9:35pm |
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bmann1942
Setup: Mark Bellamy Master Craftsman blade, British Leyland hard rubber |
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JacekGM
Platinum Member Joined: 02/17/2013 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 2356 |
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Aaah, TtGold, how goes it?
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(1) Juic SBA (Fl, 85 g) with Bluefire JP3 (red max) on FH and 0.6 mm DR N Desperado on BH; (2) Yinhe T7 (Fl, 87 g) with Bluefire M3 (red 2.0) on FH and 0.6 mm 755 on BH.
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Baal
Forum Moderator Joined: 01/21/2010 Location: unknown Status: Offline Points: 14336 |
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Tassie, you will note however that when I pointed out that Berndt shivered before he whined, it suggested winter, juxtaposed with possibly a deep loathing. So certainly my verse has an intentional seasonal element in it (perhaps referring time spent in Ohio as opposed to Tucson, or simply Berndt's known horror at what the sport became). Also, there is a distinct contrast, between the universe of inverted rubber users and the caveat that this would never include Berndt. Is there possibly more of a kireji than a word like caveat? I don't think so. I think that one certainly passes the test of haiku-ness. My second effort about the ITTF lacks reference to seasons, again intentional because I find them corrupt and incompetent at all times of the year. A seasonal element in a verse about them might be letting them off the hook. (Also ITTF already has four syllables which completely hoses me ). There is a contrast between the question "are they crazy?" the impression that some of their BS might suggest and the reality that "they are crazy like a fox and making off like bandits". I liked Berndt's blank verse also.
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Tassie52
Gold Member Joined: 10/09/2010 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 1318 |
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baal, who spins words so silken for Lausanne bonfires
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berndt_mann
Gold Member Joined: 02/02/2015 Location: Tucson, Arizona Status: Offline Points: 1719 |
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my apologies,
baal, who spins words so silken for Lausanne bonfires
Absolutely loved that one. If that ain't true good ole country boy haiku, I don't know what is. Basho Can we foresee, baal, Lausanne bonfires extinguished? Bright fireflies linger. Edited by berndt_mann - 08/25/2015 at 6:23am |
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bmann1942
Setup: Mark Bellamy Master Craftsman blade, British Leyland hard rubber |
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Baal
Forum Moderator Joined: 01/21/2010 Location: unknown Status: Offline Points: 14336 |
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Celluloid is gone A winter of discontent Ball bounces oddly
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Baal
Forum Moderator Joined: 01/21/2010 Location: unknown Status: Offline Points: 14336 |
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Sweating hard to win No umpire at the table Left arm not moving
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Baal
Forum Moderator Joined: 01/21/2010 Location: unknown Status: Offline Points: 14336 |
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Adham wakes, content They think I'm gone forever Power behind the throne
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berndt_mann
Gold Member Joined: 02/02/2015 Location: Tucson, Arizona Status: Offline Points: 1719 |
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Steve pauses, then serves;
Sharp swerving right-left high-toss. Oh s**t, can't read spin. |
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bmann1942
Setup: Mark Bellamy Master Craftsman blade, British Leyland hard rubber |
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wturber
Premier Member Joined: 10/28/2008 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3899 |
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You seem to be giving credit to me when it belongs to Jim T. I'm just making simple limericks. I'm happy enough if they just make someone smile - regardless of potential grade. |
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Jay Turberville
www.jayandwanda.com Hardbat: Nittaku Resist w/ Dr. Evil or Friendship 802-40 OX |
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Tt Gold
Gold Member Joined: 10/22/2014 Location: Germany Status: Offline Points: 1302 |
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Thanks for clearing it up.Now I understand that you just wrote it wrong |
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