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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/06/2019 at 9:18pm
Rule 78. You are not allowed to signal to a doubles partner what serve you will use unless you actually know how to execute more than one serve.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote larrytt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/07/2019 at 9:45am
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

62. You must acknowledge that Larry Hodges is not part of the table tennis "Deep State".  It is not allowed to suggest otherwise.  Also he wants you to buy his books.  All of them.
You are wrong. I AM Deep State. Originally I led this secret organization in taking over the United States with my orange puppet, but I have since moved on to much bigger things, reaching my zenith in taking over USA Table Tennis, whose every move I control like a marionette. As to buying my books, well DUH!!! That's a given. You couldn't join the Nazis without a copy of Mein Kampf, so how can you join Deep State without a copy of Table Tennis Tactics for Those Who Secretly Control Everything?
-Larry Hodges
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/07/2019 at 12:02pm
Note that in contrast to these "Rules" which are to be taken with a deadly seriousness of purpose, as if they were delivered by the Table Tennis Gods (indeed they are) such that every single word is OBEYED, Larry here is simply joking and being sarcastic.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stiltt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/07/2019 at 11:54pm
Is there a rule about smelling the opponent's racket before a match? in Seattle, there is a guy so dumb that after I told him a million times that I do not boost, he always wanted to sniff my racket before playing and so with a suspicious attitude. He used to make me uncomfortable, like any mentally challenged person would when greeting me by taking a whiff of my genitals or anus.

Edited by stiltt - 10/08/2019 at 2:35pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DonnOlsen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 6:28am
Originally posted by larrytt larrytt wrote:

Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

62. You must acknowledge that Larry Hodges is not part of the table tennis "Deep State".  It is not allowed to suggest otherwise.  Also he wants you to buy his books.  All of them.
You are wrong. I AM Deep State. Originally I led this secret organization in taking over the United States with my orange puppet, but I have since moved on to much bigger things, reaching my zenith in taking over USA Table Tennis, whose every move I control like a marionette. As to buying my books, well DUH!!! That's a given. You couldn't join the Nazis without a copy of Mein Kampf, so how can you join Deep State without a copy of Table Tennis Tactics for Those Who Secretly Control Everything?
-Larry Hodges

Frankly, I'm skeptical of all this.  I'm guessing but who knows what you will hear from this guy next, maybe a Forehand Smashing Seminar or something like that.

As to the Deep State: I do know the sport is in desperate need of one, if for no other reason than that the real rules have to come from somewhere, and that somewhere should be a dark place. 
Advances in a field are best achieved by constructs that fully reflect the phenomena of interest and are rooted in a theory that specifies their determinants, mediating processes, and its effects.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote kevo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 8:27am
For the consideration of the commitee:

A player shall not arrive at the club exactly 2 minutes after all the tables and barriers have been set up. A player shall not leave the club exactly 2 minutes before the tables and barriers are stripped down...even if they are going to drink beer. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 8:38am
stilltt I sympathize, but The Rules are seriousness business.  A rule about blade sniffing behavior would compromise the Dignity of the Rules and tempt people to not obey them.

Because WTF?!!!

Next time you play him clean your blade with chloroform just beforehand.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote vanjr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 8:48am
Originally posted by kevo kevo wrote:

For the consideration of the commitee:

A player shall not arrive at the club exactly 2 minutes after all the tables and barriers have been set up. A player shall not leave the club exactly 2 minutes before the tables and barriers are stripped down...even if they are going to drink beer. 

It is always the same people...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stiltt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 10:05am
Originally posted by vanjr vanjr wrote:

Originally posted by kevo kevo wrote:

For the consideration of the commitee:

A player shall not arrive at the club exactly 2 minutes after all the tables and barriers have been set up. A player shall not leave the club exactly 2 minutes before the tables and barriers are stripped down...even if they are going to drink beer. 

It is always the same people...
that’s a big one! 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stiltt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 2:34pm
Is it ok to play barefoot lol? some people find it disgusting. I am fine with it but there is an hygiene issue and I do understand the rules forbidding it in almost all the gyms I went to so far.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 4:11pm
Originally posted by stiltt stiltt wrote:

Is it ok to play barefoot lol? some people find it disgusting. I am fine with it but there is an hygiene issue and I do understand the rules forbidding it in almost all the gyms I went to so far.

See Rules 9 and 10 (page 1 of this thread).  Playing table tennis whilst barefoot is an anathema comparable to wearing black socks, or socks of any color that go up to your knees.  Or street shoes. 

It is Simply Not  Done.  It is a Crime Against Table Tennis.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 8:36pm
However.... more generally because certain posts on this forum (historically) indicate the rule is needed:

Rule 80.  You are not allowed to sniff the glue.


Edited by Baal - 10/08/2019 at 8:39pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tuco Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 9:22pm
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

8.    8 You are allowed to wear a shirt with a manufacturer logo (e.g. Donic or Butterfly) up to the age of 50, at which time this is no longer allowed.

9.  


May I ask why?  

can old folks wear logo of "specialty" manufacturer?  like Dr Neubauer?  I know a forum member with over 10,000 posts has several Doc's shirts.  and he is not even 50.  LOL.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 10:41pm
"May I ask why?"

No.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pgpg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 10:50pm
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

"May I ask why?"

No.

Hey, "rules" are made to be broken!Tongue


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tommyzai Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 10:51pm
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

"May I ask why?"

No.

Well, next year on my birthday (June 20), I'll be wearing a logo shirt with matching undies. I dare anyone to tear them off me. ;-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jfolsen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/09/2019 at 10:05am
I cannot wait for rule 100. Such anticipation!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tommyzai Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/09/2019 at 11:24am
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 81. You are not allowed to wear a hat of any type while playing table tennis. If necessary you are allowed to use a headband or wear a bandana like a pirate.  Wearing a baseball cap backwards is especially forbidden.  

Hats are for sissies. ;-) I think Rule 81b should also forbid headbands, but allow players to have a parrot on their shoulder for aviary coaching.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/09/2019 at 6:03pm
It is self evident that the Rules promulgated here are more important than those of ITTF.  They deal with more substantive issues.  

Still, Tommy, I can't help but think that the parrot would violate one of tbe ITTF rules on coaching in the middle of the point, depending on how well it talks.

Rule 81, as with all of the others, stands as written.  No parrots.


Edited by Baal - 10/09/2019 at 6:04pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DonnOlsen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/10/2019 at 7:20am
Rule 82 (Proposed)

For all players who have conceded the utter ineptitude of their backhands, despite years of deep and rigorous backhand rehab efforts of relentless diligence and effort, to forthright embrace with Mount Olympus devotion the religious belief in reincarnation, held with a Churchillian iron resolve, for plotting a vector upon the final backhand of this life, to the next being in shining karmic reward of returning as Andrzej Grubba. 
Advances in a field are best achieved by constructs that fully reflect the phenomena of interest and are rooted in a theory that specifies their determinants, mediating processes, and its effects.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/10/2019 at 7:58am
Donn, thank you for your comment.  Note that this is covered under Rule 6.  Pleasecrefervalso to Rule 74.

Also the Rules do not specify any aspects or impose any restrictions on reincarnation, and as far as Table Tennis is concerned, you are welcome to come back as anyone you would like.  Note however that there may be factors at play beyond the realm of Table Tennis, and we cannot exclude that you would come back as Tommyzai's parrot.


Edited by Baal - 10/16/2019 at 9:20pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tassie52 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/12/2019 at 10:50pm
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 81. You are not allowed to wear a hat of any type while playing table tennis. If necessary you are allowed to use a headband or wear a bandana like a pirate.  Wearing a baseball cap backwards is especially forbidden.  


I believe there should be a general life rule banning the backwards wearing of baseball caps.  Having said that, I recognise that someone wearing a baseball cap backwards is a clear indicator that said person is an idiot and can therefore be avoided with little effort.  Equally, there should be a life rule banning the wearing of bandanas.  The ONLY exception to this being actual pirates.  Those attempting to wear a bandana in order to make themselves appear more piratical should be inducted into piracy via repeated keelhaulings until they see the error of their ways.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote heavyspin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/16/2019 at 9:17am
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 87. You may not pass gas in the vicinity of other players or close to the end of a game just prior to changing sides.
I don't do that any more, but that's how I defeated my first opponent over 2200. Back in the 21 point era, I was down 10-8 in the 3rd game and changed sides. My opponent waved his hand across his nose "Whoa!" then shrugged his shoulders and said "good strategy!"  I won 6 of the next 7 points.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GMan4911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/16/2019 at 11:05am
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 87. You may not pass gas in the vicinity of other players or close to the end of a game just prior to changing sides.
Or cough or sneeze at any time without covering your mouth.  When coughing or sneezing, cover your mouth with your elbow and not your hands to minimize contaminating the ball/hands/table.  After the match is over, instead of shaking hands, bumping fists is acceptable.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Fulanodetal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/16/2019 at 2:25pm
Rule 88: If you're going to propose a rule (see rule 82 proposal) it must be in clear and concise sentences. This will make it easy to understand. A simple sentence is better than a long one, full of fancy words that ends up sounding like "word salad".

FdT


Edited by Fulanodetal - 10/16/2019 at 2:26pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stiltt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/16/2019 at 3:05pm
Rule 89: If you're going to propose a rule (see rule 88 proposal), it must not criticize other rules. Tongue

edit: was that short enough?

edit: oh no they are startin' breedin'


Edited by stiltt - 10/16/2019 at 3:06pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JimT Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/16/2019 at 3:46pm
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

74 Your level will eventually decline if you play long enough.  You are not allowed to bore others with the details of why this is happening in your case.  See also Rules 6 and 52.


Oh-h-h... man. This is at least 50% of the motivation for why I drag myself to the club.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JimT Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/16/2019 at 3:58pm
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 81. You are not allowed to wear a hat of any type while playing table tennis 


Yarmulke? Sikh turban?

I think we should make a tentative exception for religious headwear. I would even go as far as to allow full body burqah. That would be a sight...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Fulanodetal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/16/2019 at 5:36pm
Rule 90: Rules should not contradict other rules or themselves. Rule 89 is self contradicting since it is criticizing an earlier rule (rule 88).


FdT
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/16/2019 at 5:53pm
Originally posted by Fulanodetal Fulanodetal wrote:

Rule 88: If you're going to propose a rule (see rule 82 proposal) it must be in clear and concise sentences. This will make it easy to understand. A simple sentence is better than a long one, full of fancy words that ends up sounding like "word salad".

FdT

Each sentence had fifteen words.  There were also some words with three syllables.  I understand now that this was too much for you and I apologize.  I will try to keep it simple for you in the future.
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