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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tommyzai Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/08/2019 at 10:51pm
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

"May I ask why?"

No.

Well, next year on my birthday (June 20), I'll be wearing a logo shirt with matching undies. I dare anyone to tear them off me. ;-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/09/2019 at 8:01am
Rule 81. You are not allowed to wear a hat of any type while playing table tennis*. If necessary you are allowed to use a headband or wear a bandana like a pirate.  Wearing a baseball cap backwards is especially forbidden.  

*Religious headgear, as worn for example by Sikhs, is obviously exempted.


Edited by Baal - 19 hours 41 minutes ago at 9:27pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jfolsen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/09/2019 at 10:05am
I cannot wait for rule 100. Such anticipation!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tommyzai Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/09/2019 at 11:24am
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 81. You are not allowed to wear a hat of any type while playing table tennis. If necessary you are allowed to use a headband or wear a bandana like a pirate.  Wearing a baseball cap backwards is especially forbidden.  

Hats are for sissies. ;-) I think Rule 81b should also forbid headbands, but allow players to have a parrot on their shoulder for aviary coaching.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/09/2019 at 6:03pm
It is self evident that the Rules promulgated here are more important than those of ITTF.  They deal with more substantive issues.  

Still, Tommy, I can't help but think that the parrot would violate one of tbe ITTF rules on coaching in the middle of the point, depending on how well it talks.

Rule 81, as with all of the others, stands as written.  No parrots.


Edited by Baal - 10/09/2019 at 6:04pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DonnOlsen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/10/2019 at 7:20am
Rule 82 (Proposed)

For all players who have conceded the utter ineptitude of their backhands, despite years of deep and rigorous backhand rehab efforts of relentless diligence and effort, to forthright embrace with Mount Olympus devotion the religious belief in reincarnation, held with a Churchillian iron resolve, for plotting a vector upon the final backhand of this life, to the next being in shining karmic reward of returning as Andrzej Grubba. 
Donn

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/10/2019 at 7:58am
Donn, thank you for your comment.  Note that this is covered under Rule 6.  Pleasecrefervalso to Rule 74.

Also the Rules do not specify any aspects or impose any restrictions on reincarnation, and as far as Table Tennis is concerned, you are welcome to come back as anyone you would like.  Note however that there may be factors at play beyond the realm of Table Tennis, and we cannot exclude that you would come back as Tommyzai's parrot.


Edited by Baal - 19 hours 48 minutes ago at 9:20pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/10/2019 at 9:36am
Rule 82. You are absolutely not allowed to try to win the points in the warm up. Save it for three minutes later or whenever it is that your actual match starts. If you fail to grasp this simple concept you are required to take remedial action.  The simplest is to watch videos to see how elite players approach this with common courtesy.   Alternatively, you could quit the sport.

Edited by Baal - 10/10/2019 at 6:33pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/11/2019 at 7:16am
Rule 83.  Your shorts must not extend below your knee but neither under any circumstances are you allowed to roll up your shorts in the manner of Jean-Michel Saive (or Thiery Cabrera)..
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/12/2019 at 8:19pm
Rule 84.  A player is not allowed to bounce the ball more than three times before serving. If a player consistently serves too long or always hits the same serve they are allowed zero bounces, since in that case it is particularly pointless.  See also Rule 78.

Rule 85. Flash photography in a table tennis venue is absolutely forbidden and warrants immediate ejection. You are required to inform friends and family of this since, whilst it might seem to be common sense, it apparently is not. Actual players who violatecthis rule are to be shunned. 


Edited by Baal - 10/12/2019 at 8:37pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tassie52 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/12/2019 at 10:50pm
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 81. You are not allowed to wear a hat of any type while playing table tennis. If necessary you are allowed to use a headband or wear a bandana like a pirate.  Wearing a baseball cap backwards is especially forbidden.  


I believe there should be a general life rule banning the backwards wearing of baseball caps.  Having said that, I recognise that someone wearing a baseball cap backwards is a clear indicator that said person is an idiot and can therefore be avoided with little effort.  Equally, there should be a life rule banning the wearing of bandanas.  The ONLY exception to this being actual pirates.  Those attempting to wear a bandana in order to make themselves appear more piratical should be inducted into piracy via repeated keelhaulings until they see the error of their ways.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/14/2019 at 2:07pm
Rule 85.  Don't beat yourself.  Let your opponent beat you. 

Rule 86.  You are not allowed to take your frustrations out on your equipment anywhere that people can see you do it. (This is analogous to Rule 40 on shadow practice). This includes your spouse/partner or children or dogs*. However, given sufficient solitude, you are allowed to burn, atomize or curse blades rubber or balls provided you are in compliance with all local environmental and safety regulations. Keep in mind however, that blades will generally not pass through your toilet into the sewer systems.


* You are allowed to shadow practice in front of your dog, but he/she will still think you are weird.


Edited by Baal - 10/14/2019 at 2:16pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10/14/2019 at 2:23pm
Rule 87. You may not pass gas in the vicinity of other players or close to the end of a game just prior to changing sides.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote heavyspin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 9:17am
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 87. You may not pass gas in the vicinity of other players or close to the end of a game just prior to changing sides.
I don't do that any more, but that's how I defeated my first opponent over 2200. Back in the 21 point era, I was down 10-8 in the 3rd game and changed sides. My opponent waved his hand across his nose "Whoa!" then shrugged his shoulders and said "good strategy!"  I won 6 of the next 7 points.
I couldn't find my backhand loop last tournament so I went to the lost and found.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GMan4911 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 11:05am
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 87. You may not pass gas in the vicinity of other players or close to the end of a game just prior to changing sides.
Or cough or sneeze at any time without covering your mouth.  When coughing or sneezing, cover your mouth with your elbow and not your hands to minimize contaminating the ball/hands/table.  After the match is over, instead of shaking hands, bumping fists is acceptable.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Fulanodetal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 2:25pm
Rule 88: If you're going to propose a rule (see rule 82 proposal) it must be in clear and concise sentences. This will make it easy to understand. A simple sentence is better than a long one, full of fancy words that ends up sounding like "word salad".

FdT


Edited by Fulanodetal - Yesterday at 2:26pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stiltt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 3:05pm
Rule 89: If you're going to propose a rule (see rule 88 proposal), it must not criticize other rules. Tongue

edit: was that short enough?

edit: oh no they are startin' breedin'


Edited by stiltt - Yesterday at 3:06pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JimT Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 3:46pm
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

74 Your level will eventually decline if you play long enough.  You are not allowed to bore others with the details of why this is happening in your case.  See also Rules 6 and 52.


Oh-h-h... man. This is at least 50% of the motivation for why I drag myself to the club.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JimT Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 3:58pm
Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 81. You are not allowed to wear a hat of any type while playing table tennis 


Yarmulke? Sikh turban?

I think we should make a tentative exception for religious headwear. I would even go as far as to allow full body burqah. That would be a sight...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Fulanodetal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 5:36pm
Rule 90: Rules should not contradict other rules or themselves. Rule 89 is self contradicting since it is criticizing an earlier rule (rule 88).


FdT
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 5:53pm
Originally posted by Fulanodetal Fulanodetal wrote:

Rule 88: If you're going to propose a rule (see rule 82 proposal) it must be in clear and concise sentences. This will make it easy to understand. A simple sentence is better than a long one, full of fancy words that ends up sounding like "word salad".

FdT

Each sentence had fifteen words.  There were also some words with three syllables.  I understand now that this was too much for you and I apologize.  I will try to keep it simple for you in the future.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 5:55pm
Originally posted by JimT JimT wrote:

Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 81. You are not allowed to wear a hat of any type while playing table tennis 


Yarmulke? Sikh turban?

I think we should make a tentative exception for religious headwear. I would even go as far as to allow full body burqah. That would be a sight...

Exception granted.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Fulanodetal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 hours 54 minutes ago at 8:14pm
"Each sentence had fifteen words.  There were also some words with three syllables.  I understand now that this was too much for you and I apologize.  I will try to keep it simple for you in the future."

I find this confusing since rule 82 was proposed by someone else...

this is the one I was talking about...

"Rule 82 (Proposed)

For all players who have conceded the utter ineptitude of their backhands, despite years of deep and rigorous backhand rehab efforts of relentless diligence and effort, to forthright embrace with Mount Olympus devotion the religious belief in reincarnation, held with a Churchillian iron resolve, for plotting a vector upon the final backhand of this life, to the next being in shining karmic reward of returning as Andrzej Grubba."


FdT


Edited by Fulanodetal - 20 hours 52 minutes ago at 8:16pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stiltt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 hours 46 minutes ago at 8:22pm
Originally posted by Fulanodetal Fulanodetal wrote:

Rule 90: Rules should not contradict other rules or themselves. Rule 89 is self contradicting since it is criticizing an earlier rule (rule 88).


FdT
good job picking that up Clap

I tested you; you pass. Big smile

Édit: wait a minute!!! Unless somebody decides that Rule 89 de facto makes rule 88 inexistant as it comes to life, the birthing 89 ends in 88.


Edited by stiltt - 20 hours 38 minutes ago at 8:30pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 hours 58 minutes ago at 9:10pm
Originally posted by Fulanodetal Fulanodetal wrote:

"Each sentence had fifteen words.  There were also some words with three syllables.  I understand now that this was too much for you and I apologize.  I will try to keep it simple for you in the future."

I find this confusing since rule 82 was proposed by someone else...

this is the one I was talking about...

"Rule 82 (Proposed)

For all players who have conceded the utter ineptitude of their backhands, despite years of deep and rigorous backhand rehab efforts of relentless diligence and effort, to forthright embrace with Mount Olympus devotion the religious belief in reincarnation, held with a Churchillian iron resolve, for plotting a vector upon the final backhand of this life, to the next being in shining karmic reward of returning as Andrzej Grubba."


FdT

I see. Yes, I agree.  Fortunately that rule is not from the Table Tennis gods and the commenter was referred to Rule 6.  To be honest, Rule 74 is even more explicit.  I tried to let him down gently by suggesting that he can be reincarnated as whomever  he wants.   As long as he hardens the [email protected] up.

The actual Rule 82 is :

Rule 82. You are absolutely not allowed to try to win the points in the warm up. Save it for three minutes later or whenever it is that your actual match starts. If you fail to grasp this simple concept you are required to take remedial action.  The simplest is to watch videos to see how elite players approach this with common courtesy.   Alternatively, you could quit the sport.

Ba'al has spoken.  On behalf of the Gods of Table Tennis


Edited by Baal - 19 hours 43 minutes ago at 9:25pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 hours 37 minutes ago at 9:31pm
Rule 88 You are not allowed to retreat to the barriers and "lob for show" on the last point of a lopsided match unless you are are a professional player. See also Rules 2, 7 and 8.

Rule 89. You are not allowed to bring highly fragrant and particular foods -- e.g. surstromming, choudoufu, or durian fruit -- to the closed confines of a table tennis club.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 hours 33 minutes ago at 9:35pm
Originally posted by heavyspin heavyspin wrote:

Originally posted by Baal Baal wrote:

Rule 87. You may not pass gas in the vicinity of other players or close to the end of a game just prior to changing sides.
I don't do that any more, but that's how I defeated my first opponent over 2200. Back in the 21 point era, I was down 10-8 in the 3rd game and changed sides. My opponent waved his hand across his nose "Whoa!" then shrugged his shoulders and said "good strategy!"  I won 6 of the next 7 points.

Heavyspin, wars have been started over the mere threat of this kind of thing.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote heavyspin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3 hours 46 minutes ago at 1:22pm
Don't think this has been mentioned.
If a disturbance occurs during a rally, such as a ball entering your court, you may either call a let immediately or not call let at all. You may not wait until the point has completed to decide retroactively whether or not the disturbance bothered you. 
I couldn't find my backhand loop last tournament so I went to the lost and found.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 2 hours 20 minutes ago at 2:48pm
Rule 90.  You are not allowed ex post facto lets.  You are required to call them immediately at the time of the disturbance, usually a ball from another court.  If you keep playing and lose the point, too bad.  See Rule 6.

Rule 91.  If your ball goes into someone else's court you are not allowed to call a let for THEIR point.  But if you crash into the barriers and end up face down in their court it is allowed.


Edited by Baal - 2 hours 11 minutes ago at 2:57pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 1 hour 46 minutes ago at 3:22pm
Rule 92. Only the Table Tennis gods know what blade FZD actually uses and this knowledge is not comprehensible by the human intellect. In fact it is in a state of quantum indeterminacy, rather like Schrodinger's Cat.   See also Rule 51.
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